Being Communicative vs Being Communicator

Today, inspired by the picture below (that I saw, here), I share my view of the importance of genuine communication and how it establishes the difference between a communicative person and a good communicator.


A good speech won’t do a thing for you if you are not genuine. Recent studies (like this onethis one, and this one) found that genuine people do not accept demonstrations of manipulative speeches at face value.

Personally, I totally agree with those perspective.

We – genuine people – are always known as being “further emotional”. Actually, we just do not want to deal with fake people, fake content, nor fake conversations. We don’t just want to notice a few “signs” of emotional intelligence, moral intelligence and rational behavior with the feeling that… is all about trickery. We need to feel that the conversation, or the speech, are naturally genuine and that the emotions from our interlocutors are authentic.

According to lead researcher Christina Fong, when it comes to our coworkers “people are not just mindless automatons. People think about the emotions they see and care whether they are sincere or manipulative.”

Therefore, why being communicative is different from being a good communicator?

The same studies support that genuine leaders are far more effective at motivating teams because they inspire trust and respect through their actions, their behaviors, their non-verbal conduct, and not just their words. 

Janet Louise Stephenson said “Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity” and that is, absolutely, true! so then, that is my perspective about leadership, trustworthy, genuineness to be a good communicator:

Leadership is all about Communication.
Communication is all about Impact.
The impact is all about Respect.
Respect is all about Trust.

And, to be Trustful you must be Genuine.

#1 | First of all, “being genuine”, obviously. “Genuine people are who they are.” say Travis Bradberry. We know that some people will like us, and some won’t. And we are totally OK with that. We don’t care willing to make unpopular decisions and to take unpopular positions if that’s what needs to be done.

#2 | We know the impacts about what we say and how we say it. Whether interacting with our biggest client, or interacting with our teams whom are taking our orders, we are unfailingly assertive but always respectful in the form and the content.

#3 | Definitely, we are not motivated by material things. We don’t care about shiny nor fancy stuff in order to feel good. We just need to feel happiness!

#4 | We are trustworthy. We mean what we say. If we make a commitment, then we will do it. We are not hypocrites. We practice what we preach. We don’t tell other people to do one thing and then do the opposite ourselves. That’s largely due to our self-awareness. Many hypocrites don’t even recognize their mistakes. They’re blind to their own weaknesses.

#5 | If the conversation is important, then we put away our phones, tablets and other distracting devices. That behavior is really and absolutely relevant to me. When I am committed to a conversation, I focus all of my energy on “The” conversation. I know that I will find the conversation more enjoyable and effective when I am fully immersing myself into that. And when I find robotically approach people who are tethered to their phone, this puts my brains on autopilot and prevents me from having any real affinity with them.

Finally, genuine people – as I define myself – are firmly grounded in reality, and we truly present in each moment because we are not trying to figure out someone else’s agenda or worrying about our own. We know who we are, and we are confident enough to be comfortable in our own skin.  In my belief, genuineness is the main reason to tell apart a communicative person, from a good communicator.

© Vânia Nascimento Guerreiro | 2019